Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
