Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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