I just pynch a tree in the face
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
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