just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
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