You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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