she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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