I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
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