margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
