i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
