So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
