BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
