And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
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