So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
When are your genitals available?
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Randomize
