he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
