never play flip cup with pint glasses
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
