I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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