There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Fuck appropriateness.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
I think a kid would responsible me up
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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