I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
