sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Randomize
