I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Randomize
