Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
