Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Less talking, more tequila
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Randomize
