i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
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