Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
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