Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
