I love having hate sex.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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