Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
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