how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
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