if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
