All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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