Buhtt sex?
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
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