I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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