I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
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