We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
