her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Princesses don't give blow jobs
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Randomize
