I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
