so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Randomize
