Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Randomize
