fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
