he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
