So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
i think im in europe. pls send help
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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