I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
did you just send me my own nude
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Randomize
