Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Someone stole a lamp last night.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
