Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
