i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Randomize
