idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Randomize