and she was petting her beer can
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Randomize
