Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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