he wants to bone in the snuggie
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Randomize
