All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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