matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Randomize
