O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize