Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
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