My brain says no but my pants say off.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Randomize
