I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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