i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
