why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
