I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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