Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize