bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
