I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Randomize