you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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