Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
