so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
You need a sexual gate keeper
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
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