I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
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