just tell him i said nine months
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
