I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize